שינוי ותמורות - הזמן יספר

 

איך השינויים העוברים עלינו יכולים לעורר שמחת חיים?

החיים כרוכים בשינוי ושינוי כרוך בתמורות.

סדנאות במהלך 2023 מתוכננות במרכזי קהילה שונים בוונקובר. תכניות להבאת הסדנה למקומות עבודה נמצאות בתחילת הדרך.

השנה ניצלתי את ההזדמנות לבחון סיפור במשפחה שלי. המציאות הכילה מרכיבים בלתי צפויים שאמנם לא תוכננו אך לא לגמרי הפתיעו. אני גר בוונקובר, BC. משפחתי הביולוגית חיה בישראל.

בסדנת מעשי הסיפורים שלי אנו חולקים סיפורים המעודדים יצירה. אמנם עיסוק באמנות יכול להיות מעורבות לכל החיים, אבל לא צריך להיות אמן כדי ליצור אמנות. יש שטוענים שכולנו אמנים. אני מציג את עצמי כמעצב. אבל זה הסיפור שלי. בסיפור שלך יש שפע של ניסיון שמזמין בחינה.

איך הסיפור הזה יכול להביא אושר לחייך?

בהכנות להעברת הסדנה שלי לציבור, הנחתי שהיא תעניין את מי שנהנים ללמוד כישורים חדשים. אם אני יכול לחלוק משהו מעקרונות היצירה שלי עם אחרים, הנגישות שלי כמעצב מתרחבת. עבודה עם אנשים מעוררת השראה וחמקמקה. יצא לי להיות מדריך בהזדמנויות שונות בחיי. לחילופי הרעיונות והתובנות כאשר אנחנו עובדים יחד יש הכוח לעודד תחושת יעוד. עם האנרגיה הזו, פריצות דרך רבות בעולם התרחשו. במישור האישי, כולנו מחפשים פריצות דרך, גדולות כקטנות.

• אתגרי האיזון בין עבודה וחיים מצריכים שבירת שגרה.
• לעתים, אבדן חיי הקרובים אלינו, לגיל, למחלה, או תאונה מעמיסים עלינו בדרכים לא צפויות.
• אפילו חגיגות יודעות להעמיס על הרגשות או התפקוד.

כל אחת מהדוגמאות שלמעלה מהווה סיפור מהחיים. האם זה הסיפור שלך? נשמע מוכר?

לפני 2022, הפעם האחרונה שאשתי ואני ביקרנו בישראל הייתה ב 2018. בנובמבר 2019 כבר הייתה לנו תוכנית למרץ 2020. בדצמבר 2019 התרוקנו מדפי נייר הטואלט בתגובה לחדשות שהגיעו מסין. בינואר 2020 התחושה עדיין הייתה של תגובת יתר, אבל בכל זאת ביטלנו את כרטיסי הטיסה שלנו והתחייבויות כספיות אחרות. חישוב ההשקעה הכרוכה ביציאה המתוכננת לישראל התברר כדבר הנכון. יהיה קל לזכור את היום, מרץ 16ת 2020. בתי, יצאה למכון הכושר בבוקר. אחר הצהריים, הזמן בו תכננתי לצאת בעצמי לפעילות, הסגר נחת על BC - בריטיש קולומביה. ואכן, היה לנו די מזל עם החזרים מלאים. עם זאת, הם היוו נחמה קטנה ביותר לנוכח מופע האימים של טראמפ ושאר הטרגדיות העולמיות של תקופתנו.

צילומים נוספים של העבודות הקשורות לסדנה אפשר לראות באינסטגרם. דפי מגזינים משמשים ליצירת אובייקטים, מקערות פשוטות ועד מיכלים מפותחים עם מכסה ושעוני קיר. האפשרויות רבות והאופק פתוח

בחצר האחורית, התמודדנו עם סכסוך הולך וגובר עם שכנים בשכירות שלמרות בקשות חוזרות ונשנות המשיכו לקיים מסיבות שבועיות עמוק לתוך הלילה. עדיין הצלחתי לתקן את מדרגות העץ הקדמיות שלנו ולייצב את המרפסת האחורית, גם היא עשויה עץ. הניסויים שלי עם אפוקסי העמידו בסלון שולחן קפה קטן. אחרי דליפות עקשניות במהלך המזיגות השונות, השולחן משמש אותנו בהנאה. משטח השולחן זוכה לצפיות סקרניות מצד האורחים שמתפעלים מאינספור החפצים שנאספו ביציקה. מסגרות מתכת ששימשו יצירת אמנות נשכחת שלי הפכו בשולחן הזה לרגליים.

לאחר חודשים של חוסר ודאות, השכנים הפורעים פונו מהבית ליד. חברותי בוועדה מייעצת של העיר ונקובר הסתכמה בפיצוץ לא לגמרי מפתיע, ובהחלט מצער, בין שתי משתתפות אחרות בה. מופע האימה של טראמפ שנמשך ארבע שנים הסתיים בחריקה של 6 בינואר 2021, שעדיין לא הסתיימה. בפברואר 2022, ולדימיר פוטין הטיל צל על כל משבר אחר בעולם עם ההשתוללות הפוליטית שלו.

לאור הטרגדיות הגלובליות הללו, המחשבה אם כן או לא להזמין כרטיס טיסה לישראל יכולה לטות מעט לכאן או לכאן. אבל ברוב המקרים, לאיומים פוליטיים יש השפעה מועטה על ההחלטה אם ליסוע או לא. בתנו התרגשה לנסות ביקור קיץ. הזיעה הצפויה ביולי בישראל לא הזיזה לה. היא עמדה לחגוג 18 מיד אחרי חזרתנו לוונקובר. האפשרויות שלנו היו מוגבלות בעיקר בזכות ההרשמה שלה ל- UVic בסתיו.

אבל לפני הביקור המתוכנן שלנו ביולי, אחי הצעיר עבר תאונת קטנוע במרץ השנה. אחותי התחילה תהליך של פרידה מבת זוגה של עשר שנים. כבר הייתי רשום לקורס מקוון שנפתח באפריל ב-BCIT. סגרתי עם המרכז הקהילתי Trout Lake על שימוש בחלל לחודשים מאי ויוני להעברת סדנת מעשי הסיפורים שלי. זו הייתה ההזדמנות לבחון את הסיפור של המשפחה שלי. הזמנתי בחטף טיסה ויצאתי לביקור לא מתוכנן מסוף מרץ עד תחילת אפריל. ניגשתי להכנות לביקור הלא מתוכנן בסקרנות לאן האירועים יובילו. חזרתי לוונקובר כדי להשלים את תכנון הסדנה ולהמשיך בקורס המקוון. ואז יצאנו לביקור המתוכנן ביולי.

האם גם לכם קורה שתכניות פשוטות מתממשות לכדי הפתעה בכל צעד של הדרך?

ביולי חזרתי עם האשה והבת לביקור המתוכנן. הביקור הקודם דרבן אותי להשקיע בתכנון כזה שיהיה מספיק גמיש להפתעות. ידענו שיהיה חם. הזמנו מקום בתל אביב לכמה ימים. גם בירושלים הזמנו מקום, שם גרה אמי מאז ומעולם, ובגפה - מאז פטירת אבי ב 2015. מספר משבצות זמן סומנו עם פעילויות שעניינו אותנו ובכך הסתיימו ההכנות. 

חוויות שדה התעופה - החלפת מטוס במהלך הדרך - היו גיהנום בשני הכיוונים. בליל הנחיתה בישראל, אמי עברה שבץ קל. שלוש המזוודות שלנו נשארו תקועות בשדות תעופה שונים בדרך. בתיקי היד היו לנו מספר פריטי לבוש שהשכלנו לארוז. היה קצת מוזר להווכח שהביקור המשיך כמעט ללא התאמות מיוחדות, אם כי הוא בפרוש נעשה מבורדק הרבה מעבר למתוכנן. שתי מזוודות הגיעו ליעדן (לרשותנו) שבוע אחרי הנחיתה בישראל. השלישית עדיין חיכתה להזדמנות שלה. ענת, אשתי, נדבקה בקוביד מספר ימים לפני הטיסה חזרה הביתה. ענבל, בתנו ואני יצאנו שליליים בבדיקה כך שעלינו כמתוכנן על הטיסה הביתה. ענת עברה לקיבוץ הוריה להסתגר שם וחזרה לוונקובר שבוע מאוחר יותר. המזוודה השלישית הגיעה לישראל כיום לפני המראת ענת, מה שהחזיר את שתיהן בשלום לוונקובר.

 פסל מתכת של יופ דה יונג במרום גולן

את הביקור ההוא תיארה ענבל, בתור הכאוטי ביותר שהיה לה עד כה (בחייה הקצרים). כפי שצוין קודם, החיים כרוכים בשינוי ושינוי כרוך במעבר. אנחנו עושים מהלך והמהלך הופך אותנו למי שאנחנו. הסיפור של השנה הזו בקושי התחיל, ובכל זאת הפרקים שלה כבר נרקמו לפני עשרות שנים.

Yogurt Meltdown

No doubt, there is something special in this year we are going through. Incidents that tend to happen fast are threatening to pass as if they never happened; those that linger might never leave us at all. Either way, they fall upon us in surprise.

"You're a philosopher!", a teacher in my daughter's elementary squinted at me, tilting her head slightly. I said to her that probably we all are, yet maybe this trait is somewhat more pronounced in me.

When I return to this remark, the teacher's remark, it adds up to the array of impressions I have of everything around me and around the world. And my family, along with endless other families, familiar and foreign to me, continue to inspire me.

What is it indeed that inspires people?

A small part of an answer could be seen in the following:

Being self-obsessed always risks being blind to what's around me. I live, work, cope and explore. Sometimes I am totally frustrated, like when the company that makes my favorite yogurt replaces its packaging from 750 grams to 650. Obviously there are more serious frustrations like dysfunctional communications in the team I work. But mostly I succeed in much of what I do and even gain appreciation from said team. I solved the yogurt issue, as usual, in an unconventional way. And it always feels like a lot of luck is involved. But quick reflection reveals that a lot of planning, work and creativity took place.

And then I hear that my sister saved the life of a refugee; my brother provides heavenly treats to his satisfied clients; my sister in law continues to consult complex industries. And my mom? My mom leans back at the head of the table in a content sigh.

This is only part of the answer: I am part of this. The excellence I am trying to promote has roots somewhere. Yes. I am like this too. But not only. And not alone. I am part of something larger than me.

Occasionally, I allow myself to lean back in a content sigh.

But this happens fast and is threatening to pass as if it never happened.

- - - - - - - -

When another sister in law asks me how my yogurt issue was resolved I had to share.

- - - - - - - -

Actually, the issue is still unresolved. I just didn't want to worry anyone. Or burden anyone with redundant details. It's still in progress. Initially I sent Liberté an email asking them to urgently return the 750 grams packaging. In return I got a gift card valued at approximately two yogurts of my choice.

In short, I stopped buying the 650 grams units.

In more detail, I but another item of the same company that is still packaged in a 750 grams container.

In even more detail, I buy two products of the same company and mix them for consumption in the following days.

But I had a grandmother who had a habit of answering simple questions with elaborate stories. This one pays homage to her. We purchased a scale that is accurate to the gram. The one we had that is accurate to the 5 grams was good enough in my view. But my daughter insisted that we must have the one gram accurate scale. We could have used my three beams scale from the time I was mixing glazes. It is accurate to the tenth of the gram. To this she said "enough is enough"!

- - - - - - - -

There are days when I think of the Meltdown incidents where embarrassed parents stand beside their screaming toddler in the middle of a shop. No one really knows why and what would save the moment. Even stepping quickly out to the street makes no difference.

I had this moment today. I was surveying the yogurt shelves. The sacks below my eyelids drooped into a miserable gaze. I felt how my energies drained onto the sticky floor beneath the industrial cooler. Not only was my favorite yogurt absent, I had to confront the reminders to previous disasters lined up in front of my eye. One time I accidentally brought home a vanilla yogurt - Gosh, NO(!). Another, it was a 0% yogurt (Eeeeek!)

I can't help thinking of the Meltdown incidents and muse: I wish I could throw myself down, here on the floor so that someone could pick me up in their hugging, soothing and comforting hands.

Still, I returned home with one container of a 5% yogurt and one with 0% which I will mix together into a reasonable compromise. This in turn brings me back to my dear pottery teacher, who among other things, taught me to say: "How I envy myself!"

Pendulum

In fact, maybe we are, after a phase of adjustment, situated in a new reality. Packs of commuters, pedestrians and community at large are holding a device of some sort in their hand. With it one speaks, another is messaging; one device is used to read books and on the other, articles are composed.

Like many innovations that capture our initial reservations, the electronic communications device too, in its many incarnations, attracts a variety of calls of dismissal and reproach. Whether I am among the users of the most cutting edge device or one of the many onlookers, our inclination to mock a new phenomenon feels natural. However, without much delay I become one of the many first users of a technology. I might still have a tinge of unease by succumbing to the trend but embrace the wonders of the novelty or even its limits.

Once more I am on the bus, thinking of the typical grievances that used to be or still are directed towards "the addicted" to technology. As time passes by, those who spend their time device-less look increasingly idle, like bums: "like, don't they have anything more important to do than just sit there, without doing anything? Ha! Riding a bus!"

Pendulum (Hebrew)

בעצם, אולי אנחנו מצויים אחרי תקופה של הסתגלות, במציאות חדשה. קבוצות רצופות של נוסעי תחבורה ציבורית, הולכי רגל ושאר חברי קהילה, מחזיקים בידם מכשיר כלשהו. עם המכשיר הזה אחד מדבר, אחרת מתכתבת; מכשיר אחד משמש לקריאת ספרים ובמכשיר אחר מחברים מאמרים.

כמו הרבה חידושים שתופסים אותנו מגיבים אליהם בהסתייגות ראשונית, גם אביזר התקשורת האלקטרוני על תצורותיו השונות זוכה למגוון קריאות ביטול ותוכחה. בין אם אני ממשתמשי המכשיר התורן או מאלה המבחינים בו מהצד, הנטייה לפתוח במסרים ביקורתיים על ההשלכות השליליות של התופעה מרגישה טבעית. לא עובר זמן רב בדרך כלל וגם אני בין המשתמשים הטריים בטכנולוגיה. אולי אני ממשיך לחוש באי הנחת מהכניעה לסחף אבל מגלה את נפלאות החידוש או אפילו את מגבלותיו.

ושוב אני נוסע באוטובוס וחושב על הטרוניות הראשוניות שהופנו, או עדיין מופנות כלפי "המכורים" לטכנולוגיה. ככל שהזמן עובר, המעבירים את זמנם ללא מכשיר ביד נראים יותר ויותר כמו חסרי מעש, בטלנים: "מה, אין להם משהו חשוב יותר מלשבת כך סתם, מבלי לעשות כלום? נוסעים באוטובוס!"

The age of Surface

Following the purchase of a new tablet that enables the use of and writing with a stylus, I woke up at four in the morning and decided to play with it a bit. The screenshot below provides a preliminary summary of the experience. 

Now, when I tried to switch to the keyboard, I realized that I can  attach the physical one to the device. This is a translation from my piece in Hebrew. I still can't type in Hebrew conveniently on the attached keyboard. So here is another stupidity that I'd be happy to share with someone else: Anat, my wife is still asleep and has already expressed her appreciation in the occasions when I've waited till the morning to talk with her; Sharon, my sister is in a different place, a different situation and if there is anything relevant to share with her, whatever it was that I had interest in sharing - is something else.

My initial understanding, the one that takes me back to my early life insight, is that the person most relevant to share my three O'clock in the morning swirling outbursts of musings, is me. Later it trickles its way to my communications with others. Occasionally it happens on the same day and the rest of it reaches other people some other time. Even the thought that this new device is responsible for my current joy is gently pushed aside by another one. It reminds me that in the past there have been enough occasions where I have encouraged myself to action this way or the other.

In short, I am very satisfied by the purchase of this new device, I am very satisfied with completing the mosaic I am making with Bruce, I continue to look at my employment at Paul Sangha's in a positive anticipation of our next move. And this is just the start.

The age of Surface (Hebrew)

בעקבות קניית טאבלט, המאפשר כתיבה עם מטה הפעלה אלקטרוני (סטילוס), התעוררתי בארבע בבוקר והחלטתי לשחק איתו קצת על המסך. צילום המסך שכאן מסכם את החוויה באופן ראשוני.

עכשיו עסקתי בניסיון לעבור לכתיבה במקלדת אבל קלטתי שזו הממשית, עדיין לא מציגה אותיות בעברית, אז ניתקתי אותה והמכשיר עובר אוטומטית למוד הקלדה על המסך דרך המקלדת הווירטואלית. אז הנה, עוד שטות שהייתי שמח לשתף בה מישהו אחר: ענת, אשתי ישנה ומביעה הערכה להזדמנויות בהן אני מחכה לבוקר כדי לדבר איתה, שרון, אחותי במקום אחר במצב אחר ואם יש משהו שיכול להיות רלוונטי לשתף אותה בו, הדבר שבמקור רציתי לשתף אותה בו הוא משהו אחר.

ההבנה הראשונית, שמחזירה אותי כל פעם לתובנת החיים המוקדמת, היא שהבנאדם הרלוונטי ביותר לשתף אותו באיבחות מחשבה מסתחררות כמו אלה שאני חווה בדרך כלל בשלוש בלילה, הוא אני. אחר כך זה מטפטף לתקשורת שלי עם אחרים. מדי פעם זה קורה עוד באותו יום ושאר הזמן זה מגיע איכשהו לאנשים שונים, בדרגות שונות, במקטעים כאלה או אחרים. אפילו המחשבה שהמכשיר החדש מהווה חלק מההנאה, מוצאת את עצמה נהדפת קלות ע"י זו שאומרת שבכל הזדמנות בעבר מצאתי את עצמי מדרבן את דחפי הפעולה של עצמי בדרכים מדרכים שונות.

בקיצור, אני מאד מרוצה מהקנייה של הטאבלט. אני מאוד מרוצה מהשלמת הפסיפס שאני יוצר עם ברוס, אני ממשיך להסתכל על ההעסקה שלי אצל פול סנגה בציפייה חיוביות לבאות. וזו רק ההתחלה.

Bus Ride Reading (Ignorance is bliss - The Hebrew Version)

ב 2009 כשהורי ביקרו אותנו כאן בוונקובר, יצא לי להבין בהפתעה קלה משהו, שהטריד את יוחנן בתור אבא לילדים שגדלו בבית דובר עברית. באחד מטיולי הבוקר הוא ציין את תחושת היתרון שיש לנו בהשוואה אליו, שגדל אצל הורים דוברי שפות זרות. בשיתוף הזה מצידו, היה משהו מעורר מחשבה. זו אמירה שמכילה רבדים של תחושות כמו תסכול, קנאה והערכה. לפעמים אנחנו עיוורים למכלול המציאות בה אנחנו חלק, עד שמי שאיתנו חולק מה שאצלו. את יכולת ההבעה והכתיבה אני ממילא מנסה לשפר ולזקק בלי קשר. אבל היכולת הזו מיועדת גם לקהל, שבלעדיו אין לה הרבה תכלית.

אולי פרט אירוני במחשבות העולות תוך כתיבת הדברים שכאן, הוא שאף פעם לא הבחנתי אצל אבא במגבלה ביכולת ההבעה. אבל השיחה שבה הוא הצליח להביע את ההכרה שלו באותה מגבלה, ממשיכה להעסיק אותי במפגשים עם אנשים אחרים. אלה שאני מעריך את יכולת ההבעה שלהם כטובה משלי, מהם אני מנסה ללמוד. אלה שיכולת ההבעה שלהם אולי פחותה, איתם אני מנסה להקפיד, מצד אחד על סבלנות ומצד שני על תמיכה. סבלנות בהקשבה ותמיכה במאמץ לנסות.

לקראת יום השלושים לפטירת יוחנן שטרן, הייתי עסוק בכתיבת החיבור בהמשך תוך נסיעה בתחבורה ציבורית. הקשר לפתיחה שלמעלה אולי לא מיידי אם כי טבעי עבורי במכלול החוויות העוברות עלי.

קריאה בתחבורה ציבורית (בורות היא אושר)

במה אנחנו מחפשים תעסוקה? אני קורא ספר בשם 'קריאת רשות' ('קריאה בלתי נחוצה' בתרגום לאנגלית) שאת שם המחברת אולי יום אחד אצליח לזכור ולהגות. השאלה שלמעלה מעסיקה אותי בזמן הקריאה ואחריה. אני תוהה מה מוצא חן בעיני בשורות אותן אני קורא ומה גורם לי להירתע.

בהמשך אני קורא פיסות מידע על ויסלבה שימבורסקה. הבירור הזריז הזה מחזיר אותי ל'קאמפר' הראשונות שקניתי.

ברחובות מילנו 1999, עברתי ליד חלון ראווה שבו הוצג זוג נעלים שגרם לי לעצור. כאילו מצאתי משהו שכל החיים חיפשתי. הן היו יפות באופן לא מובחן כמעט. היופי שלהן הכיל שלוה, נינוחות, ביטחון עצמי. אפשר היה לעבור לידן מבלי להרגיש בכלל. ובכל זאת הן כאילו חיכו לי. כשמדדתי, הנוחות שלהן הפתיעה רק על רקע נסיון העבר, בו מה שנראה נוח מסתבר בדרך כלל כפחות אם בכלל.

הכתיבה של שימבורסקה, המתורגמת לאנגלית, מרגישה מוכרת, בכל זאת זרה, אולי בגלל התרגום, אולי בגלל התחביר. היא "נשמעת" קצת כמו עולה חדש מרוסיה שנמצא בישראל כבר הרבה שנים. השפה רהוטה וקולחת עם מהמורה קלה פה ושם בנגינה. כשאני מדבר אנגלית, מדי פעם חסרות לי מלים. אני ממציא ביטויים שמסבירים את מה שאני מתכוון בצירופים שחדשים לחברה מסביבי. מעמדת הקורא, אני מתרשם שהשפה של שימבורסקה מעוררת בי התרשמות דומה אולי לזו של השומעים אותי במקום בו אני נמצא. מהמקום בו אני נמצא, אני מתחבר חזרה לויסלבה.

כשחזרתי מאיטליה עם הקאמפר החדשות, הסתבר לי שזה מותג ספרדי חם בשוק האפנה האירופאי, כולל ישראל. תהיתי איך הייתי מתייחס לנעליים בחלון אם הייתי יודע על כך מראש. לא מפריע לי להסתובב עם מותג. מפריע לי לקנות אותו רק בגלל שהוא זה. עודד, שקרא לי בעברית חיבור אחד מתוך הספר, חסך ממני את הפרט הלא רלוונטי של פרס הנובל בו זכתה שימבורסקה. כשפניתי לקנות את הספר חשבתי לעצמי, האם אני קונה אותו בגלל שאני מושפע מהמפגש עם עודד או כיוון שמשהו בטקסט היה באמת חזק מספיק עבורי.

אחת השאלות ששאלו את ויסלבה, משוררת פולנית ידועה, שנפטרה בת 89 ב 2012, היתה למה לא פרסמה יותר שירים. התשובה שלה מחזירה אותי לקרוא את החיבורים שלה, "הבלתי נחוצים": "יש כבר סל מיחזור אצלי בחדר".

Bus Ride Reading (Ignorance is bliss)

In 2009, my parents visited us here in Vancouver. Somewhat unexpectedly I realized an issue that had bothered Yohanan, my dad, for years. In one of our morning walks he mentioned the advantage we’d had over him. Being Israeli born to immigrant parents, he always felt that his exposure to language was compromised. He expressed awareness to the fact that we, his children, grew up in a Hebrew speaking household. That confession provoked layers of thought in me. I could sense the frustration in him, the envy as well as appreciation and respect. We are sometimes blind to the complex reality we live in until the person with us shares their own. My drive to improve and distil my own process of expression and writing is already established. However, my skills are deemed futile without an audience.

As I am writing these words, the irony in my dad’s state of mind has not escaped me. I have never considered his level of expression as missing much. But our chat in which he managed to express his awareness to that perceived fault, keeps me alert in my encounters with other people. From those I appreciate the level of expression as superior to mine I try to learn. With the ones whose level might be lower I try to be careful, on the one hand with patience and on the other - support; being patient in listening and supportive of the effort to try.

This memory came back to me as the thirty days from my dad's passing away (on 21 November 2015) approached. I was just about to complete a piece of commentary following a few days of commuting on bus to work. The link between the opening above and my commentary seems natural to me if not immediately obvious.

Bus Ride Reading (Ignorance is bliss)

What do we occupy ourselves with? I am reading a book, named ‘Non-required Reading’ (initially introduced to me in Hebrew as ‘Optional Reading’). One day I might remember its author’s name and manage to pronounce it. The question above rolls in my head as I am reading and beyond. I wonder what it is that attracts me to it and what turns me off.

Later I read snippets of information about Wislawa Szymborska. This quick exploration throws me back to the first ‘Campers’ I have purchased.

In the streets of Milan, 1999, I passed by a window where a pair of shoes made me stop. It was as if I found something I had been looking for my whole life. They were beautiful in an almost unnoticeable way. And yet they were waiting for me. When I tried them on, their comfort was only surprising in light of past experiences, where what looks comfortable turns out to be less so or even not at all.

Szymborska’s writing, translated into English, feels familiar yet still foreign. Maybe because of the translation, maybe due to its syntax. She “sounds” a bit like a new comer from Russia who’s already been away from homeland for many years. The language is fluent and flawless with a screech here and there in its music. When I speak English, occasionally my vocabulary fails me. I invent expressions that explain my ideas in combinations that are new to my listeners. From the reader’s point of view, my impression of Szymborska’s language is probably similar to that of my audience, in the place where I am. From where I am, I re-connect with Wislawa.

When I returned from Italy to Israel with my new Campers, I realized that they had been a hot Spanish brand in the European fashion world including that of Israel. I was wondering how I would have treated the shoes had I known about that in advance. Not that I am worried about being dressed in a brand name. I am simply averse to buying a brand name just because of it. Oded, my friend who introduced ‘optional reading’ to me, read one of the book’s pieces in Hebrew. He had spared me the irrelevant knowledge of Scymborska’s being a Nobel prize for literature winner. Still, when I considered buying the book I asked myself whether I was buying it just because of my meeting with Oded or thanks truly to the strength of the book’s text.

Wislawa, who died at 89 in 2012, was a well known Polish poet. She was asked once how come she hadn’t published more poems. Her response draws me back to her “non-required” essays: “My room already has a recycling bin.”

Is the 'Grouse Grind' a reflection of Vancouver Culture?

If my first impression of the Grouse Grind was of a touristy experience, it still held a charm that allowed me to occasionally go back and enjoy it. The intensely corporate context of the site is still physically challenging and socially compelling.

In 2003 I took a photo that managed to capture the magic of that year's climb. The first time we took our daughter with us in 2006, she bravely slept most of the way up, sitting on my shoulders, her head resting firmly on mine.

In 2009 my parents visited us from Israel for the first time. Our relatives from Portland joined us to spend some family time with them. We all went out to enjoy the place, most of the pack taking the cable car. Phyllis, my relative's wife and I took what turned out to be the bonding experience of walking up the hill.

A few years later, my in-laws were seriously injured by a car on a visit to Germany. This happened just a month before we were scheduled to have a family vacation in Israel. The timing was such, that sticking to plan was the most helpful choice. They were helped back home by Anat's brothers. We kept on with preparing the now slightly changed context of our visit. Just two weeks before flying to Israel, we took Inbal for her first on-foot Grouse Grind. Inbal, then nine years old asked me after completing the course: "do you think grandpa would manage the climb?" "Sure." I responded. "Even grandma could." Inbal, in surprise: "You think so?" "Of course." I continued. "She might not want to, but she definitely could."

It is an atypical warm summer in Vancouver this year. Still, nothing compared with other regions in the world. Again, in a few months we are scheduled for a visit in Israel. Anat's parents are planning their vacation in Tanzania a few days from now. Inbal's second climb to the Grouse was an uneventful, enjoyable weekend experience.

However, my impression is that the place has become even more touristy; even more corporate. The socially compelling side of the physical challenge looks to me now a bit like an anthropological observation opportunity. I enjoyed walking along a family whose daughter, younger than Inbal, patiently waited for her parents, guiding her even younger sibling. The effort makes for talking to be minimal, but the occasional exchange with others gives a curious sense of community.

While my leisurely pace is still that of a fit person, the many competitive climbers make me think of the diversity of participants in this venue. In the past I was amused to think that although walking up the path is not for everyone, it could sometimes feel like you're in the middle of a downtown sidewalk. I was reminded of that thought while braving one of the narrower sections of stairs, close to the top.

Some people were a step or two in front of me, a few behind me. Not a lot of room for passing or letting others pass. You just wait patiently for the next widening of the path to make your move. If at any point someone lets you through, a quick thank you is all that is exchanged. Then the breath and steps of a quicker climber were getting closer until I hear from behind an impatient "excuse me". There isn't a lot of room to move sideways so I continue climbing. When she asks again and passes the pack I am with I'm not sure whether I'm amused or irritated. As a newly minted Canadian I probably should have said "Sorry". Being who I am I'm happy to have avoided a confrontational "Excuse me!"

Just Watching

Since my previous post, Marylee and I have shared a few interesting experiences. At the Burnaby Public Library I saw her talk about "Life from the Land". Then came Balcony Tales by Helle Windeløv-Lidzélius. Marylee saw it in DOXA. Anat and I watched it at home. Birders: The Central Park Effect by Jeffrey Kimball made me take the DVD from the library and have a home screening for the lot of us, Marylee, Anat, Inbal and I.

Our day in North Vancouver. Monday, May 18th 2015

Monday, May 18th was a bright, partly cloudy day. Inbal was handed a spare pair of binoculars and we headed towards a small pond where the ducks were doing their job caring for a bunch of ducklings that were past the chick stage. It is truly magical to watch the view magnified several times through the binoculars. It's not a bad idea to remind a ten year old about some safety issues such as removing the binoculars from the eye while walking and such.

Heron waiting patiently for its catch.

Between the four locations marked on the map there was much walking and watching. We didn't return home as fanatic birders but the fun of watching birds and hearing stories about them will stay with us. One of the highlights was the reminder that birds are everywhere in the city. Marylee wanted to show us a hanging nest she's seen the other day on 5th. When we got there she realized that the tree must be a block or two away. But then Inbal noticed another hanging nest on a tree beside us. We got there just as the parents were feeding their chicks, which were probably just a little more excited to be fed than us observing the excitement.

Robin pecking the grounds at Harbourside.

Still, the presence of humans in the environment and their influence on it always raise the awareness of the challenges wildlife face in their survival. Our own passive form of watching movies about nature and wildlife is just one step in caring for a balance in ecosystems. Some of the Central Park birders of New York express an awareness to how bizarre they might look to "outsiders". I think we should keep in mind that there would always be someone watching us and considering to join. This is the audience that should interest me. The engagement with uninterested people can come in other ways.

Pigeon Gillemot on its way from one side of the pier to the other.

Urban wildlife flock to the city because of the opportunities to feed, breed and have shelter. Our ways of building and maintaining the city are not geared towards the well being of wildlife. And yet there are many who find the benefits of our systems. Observation, one of humans' core skills responsible for the achievements of our society allows us to notice the effect of our environment on the one we grew out of.

Bushtit rushing away to find more food.

It always intrigues me to find connections. From the walks with Marylee I am reconnected to the discussion of wildlife in urban settings. Our discussion waves through endless other topics that allow me to weave another set of thoughts into the quilt of a larger story. And it doesn't end there. What remains is a fleeting moment of beauty.

Time for walking, time for talking

Marylee and I were discussing a jog one day. In her interest to show me some of the lovely birds you can notice anywhere you go in the city it was just a matter of finding the right day. At about 8 am it takes a while until I manage to board the Skytrain. Then another fifteen minutes pass and I am at the Lonsdale Quay where we get together on a sunny April morning.

Apart from birds, Marylee takes photos and videos of urban action of interest. She is a storyteller, who is busy living her life to the fullest. I have recently helped her set up a blog dedicated to documenting those jogs she takes. Gradually we are going through the various tools in WordPress that allow you to share your stuff out in the world.

A wide variety of landscapes can be experienced when you let yourself wander without constraints of time.

Using the path making tool in Google Maps is not perfect in terms of interface but it works. The first walk we had together turned out to be about 5.5 KM long. Strangely there is a bridge spanning the Mosquito Creek's flow into the bay that is inaccessible to the general public. The Squamish Nation Reserve has private property signs along its roads. As pedestrians we take the liberty to use them instead of the noisy streets surrounding the reserve. We later walk beside the heavy traffic on our way back to the Quay.

If you have patience, you might get a shot of the heron shooting at a stray fish. Not much luck this time for me.

Many ducks can be seen in and out of the water. In the sky you can notice seagulls, crows and ravens. Within the Vancouver Shipyards territory, an eagles' nest can be seen high up atop one of the massive cranes. How well the birds are faring is hard for me to know. Some of the challenges for urban wildlife are documented by organizations such as the Vancouver Avian Research Centre.

At least when this guy moved, the spread of its wings was magnificent.

Our walk continues on the Spirit Trail that has steadily evolved since the first decade of the millennium. The lovely pedestrian bridge over the train tracks takes us to 1st street west, where we head back east. We take one of the patterned crosswalks to get to the north side walk. The traffic is pretty heavy now. We grab a coffee and a tea to chat a bit about Galapagos and Darwin. Marylee is working on the third edition of her book. I am in the middle of reading a biography of Darwin written by Janet Browne.

We called this a Jalk. Marylee is the one of us jogging. For me the pace is quick walking. The point is having a good balance of exercise and companionship. Along the way we enjoy the scenery that is changing as we move in space. Our memories and projections notice the changes that the scenery is going through in time as well.

I got to know of the Spirit Trail through one of my submissions for public art in North Vancouver. The patterned crosswalks are another feature of this city's care for the public realm.

Your Inner Mars Bar

This is a story from when our daughter was about six.

Inbal heard me talk about chocolate when we’d finished dinner and learned to know that I was just talking about it. We were not going to have any.

Suddenly she just started crying and nothing really made sense. No matter what we said she kept crying and the tears, pouring out her eyes seemed like a leaking roof on a rainy night. In an effort to find a way out of the tragedy I told her (knowing it won’t work but what tha heck) that I like sweets too. 

"I walk past the candy bars at Safeway many times" I told here, "There were occasions when I’d purchased a Mars Bar and enjoyed it. But in general, sweets are not healthy food and we try not to eat too many of them. It’s been quite a while now that I pass beside the Mars Bars and tell them: 'today I am NOT going to eat you'.”

Inbal’s gaze changed from miserable weeping to compassionate curiosity:

“Next time when you don’t eat the Mars Bar bring it to me”.

And this was it. The crying stopped.
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The challenge of keeping our kids away from stuffing themselves is a complex one. This post is a side story to another one in response to the use of candy as reward in school.

Drop Shadow - In The Making

I met Michael Shandrick at a design thinking event back in 2011. This whole series of documentation was inspired by a conversation I've had with him a short while ago. We were discussing processes. In response to his description of a script he was engaged in writing, I've asked him about the possibility of him posting the story. He seemed pretty intrigued by the idea. As we were exchanging more thoughts I've realized the same idea could apply to me. This is the fourth post following First Stages, Resurrection and Statement.

Just a minute or two before our walking tour of Vancouver in the Design Thinking unConference

As soon as I embark on the act of executing my thoughts, the process itself is a form of result. However, it is also an exploration. You could even see it as an adventure, where not all the answers are known. The creative process can be planned in detail yet reality imposes hurdles in many forms. Time and money are the most basic of them. Proper planning helps in balancing the many components that the process entails as it unfolds. However, people get sick, accidents happen, new ideas come up. You can't anticipate everything.

The beauty of a process exists in any of its stages.

'Drop Shadow' as a work of art is an analogy to this process. When I had started working on it, the plywood squares I was painting on, represented pixels of the digital world. Technically, I've placed them together as one surface and occasionally shuffled them to add a new layer of paint. That has generated a degree of arbitrariness to the composition. A pixel is like that. It is a sort of canvas that accommodates whatever info is directed in its way. When all the pixels together form an image that makes sense to us, communication exists.

Scale is a fascinating feature of space.

As my world expanded into the urban realm, my interest in reflecting that in my art inspired me to look at "my pixels" with a new sense of purpose. For me, a city is the most complex product of human society. Its most challenging complexity is the fact that we are one of its components - its most important one. Without the city our lives would be something else. Without us, it won't exist, or at least slowly degrade into oblivion (have a look at this).

Reflections happen with smooth surfaces, within computer programs and in your head.

In this process my camera and computer were used as painting accessories. Taking photos of the acrylic squares had allowed me to manipulate the image before continuing to add paint. The desktop monitor enabled an enhanced flexibility in viewing the work and experimenting. Planning and execution progressed very quickly following decisions made over a compelling variety of options. Plywood, as a building material, allowed me to cut existing pieces and further play with their layout.

The side of a building in construction where the concrete pouring "imperfections" are still evident. 

This layering of processes is what I find compelling in everything I do. Whether it is an idea or an object, a present reality or a vision for the future; when I look at them as raw material, my options of action are wide open. The story is the action that connects everything together. Each story sheds a light of its own on our existence.  Light and shadow play equal roles in our sense of space. If for no other reason, naming my project 'Drop Shadow' sounds almost inevitable.

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This post was actually posted on August 28 2014. I had meant to publish it on the date that appears here but simply lost  track of my list of drafted files. Interestingly, in Blogger you can control the publishing date to reflect your interests.

Open Media with the Design Nerds

"The question mark is our exclamation mark," I say as we stand in front of the room. "We have to keep on asking questions so that the challenges we generate provide us with insight to better understand the realities we are facing. Education through a variety of sources and venues allows us to become informed so that the decisions we make sustain us within the society we live."

A Design Nerds Jam starts with an introduction by a speaker or two who provide the framework of the event. The guest host on Saturday, 25th of January was Reilly Yeo, Managing Director of OpenMedia.ca.  

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Browsing through the questions posted on the walls, my feeling is that they come with a predetermined agenda.

SHOULD INTERNET AND CELL PHONE PROVIDERS BE ABLE TO MAKE IT MORE EXPENSIVE TO ACCESS CONTENT SERVICES THAT COMPETE WITH THEIR OWN?

This is a strange question. If anyone in the room has a business to run, wouldn't they want to be able to charge for their services or products so that they make profit that supports their livelihood and that of any of their employees?

ARE THERE CERTAIN SERVICES THAT ARE BLOCKED, OR CERTAIN SHOWS YOU CAN’T WATCH BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SUBSCRIBED TO A SPECIFIC TV BUNDLE?

When you subscribe to a certain service, you're offered certain programming. It's up to me to negotiate the terms of our engagement with the company we are buying our services from. I have disconnected cable years ago and haven't felt like I've missed anything.

MUCH OF CANADA’S MEDIA CONTENT, NOTABLY LIVE SPORTS, IS CONTROLLED BY THE BIG TELECOMMUNICATIONS COMPANIES. SHOULD THIS CONTENT BE MADE  AVAILABLE AT A COST-BASED RATE TO ALL TV AND ONLINE SERVICE PROVIDERS AND THEIR CUSTOMERS?

I see "NOTABLY LIVE SPORTS" and think: "OK, we want better access to media content for what purpose?!" Isn't live sports a venue where the masses escape from meaningful participation in social issues? Well, I find the way this question is framed somewhat ironic.

SHOULD TELECOM COMPANIES HAVE THE ABILITY TO DETERMINE OR RESTRICT ACCESS TO PUBLIC MEDIA OUTLETS AND OTHER COMPETING SERVICES?MOST CANADIAN TELEVISION COMES FROM CNADA’S BIG TELECOMMUNICATIONS COMPANIES (I.E. BELL, ROGERS, SHAW AND QUEBECOR). THE MAIN EXCEPTIONS ARE PUBLIC MEDIA OUTLETS LIKE THE CBC AND THE ABORIGINAL PEOPLES TELEVISION NETWORK. 

When TV services in Israel expanded into more than one channel, it was already evident that the American population was growing to be hooked on the crappy content they were provided with. I've always had a naive belief that people eventually grow out of distorted strangleholds of media companies. Education is key to better understanding, awareness and choice.

WHAT DIGITAL CONTENT SERVICES DO YOU SUBSCRIBE TO? I.E. CABLE TV, NETFLIX, SATELITE TV, THE ITUNES STORE, OR OTHERS

When the internet became easily available there was much talk about the revolution in content consumption. The interactive nature of this tool ignited the imagination of many thinkers. The reality we all live in is that not a lot of action is taken within the vast fields of opportunity. The general public is a random collection of individuals who are usually taking the path of least resistance.

IS HAVING PUBLIC MEDIA AND CULTURAL PROGRAMMING READILY AVAILABLE IMPORTANT TO YOU?

When I first unsubscribed from the cables, I wasn't sure it was the right move. As a designer, shouldn't I stay in touch with what's happening? It turned out to be a great move: not only was it right but it turned out to be a blessing: I've gained more time for things I'd been neglecting; my exposure to inspiring content has improved and there wasn't any noticeable change in my feeling of being connected.

It was only a few days after the event that the real challenge became clear to me: "what are the questions that I would have asked?" 

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I came to this Jam to "explore how matters of digital access, choice and affordability affect our daily lives, and propose solutions that put people first." After the introduction session we are all presented with a variety of topics to choose from, brainstorm ideas and come back to introduce our conclusion in a two minutes presentation. As the five of us in the Wild Card group exchange thoughts around the table I'm happy with my choice. A heated discussion over a variety of topics starts almost without delay. 

Tom, the funeral services guy introduces himself just before me. He gives a very interesting account of the strangle hold the Big companies in his field have over small businesses. I find it fascinating to realize how every issue we raise ignites streams of consciousness that can take us all over the place: the enthusiasm of a speaker can be inspiration to some as much as intimidation to others; the information shared will always need to be verified; every word is a trigger to countless associations to other thoughts and ideas.

Jared, the product designer is joining me in doodling as he speaks. His drawings are much nicer than mine. I hope to see the images soon on the design nerds' pages as I haven't taken any photos apart from the notes on the walls. We kind of jot down reactions to things that are mentioned around our table or thoughts that come up in reaction to one another. 

Tara, the Communications PhD student also writes words and circles them with red lines. Julien, our facilitator realizes that our intellectual meandering is threatening the coherence of our presentation. What is our story? For me, this is it.

"The question mark is our exclamation mark," I say. "We have to keep on asking questions so that the challenges we generate provide us with insight to better understand the realities we are facing. Education through a variety of sources and venues allows us to become informed so that the decisions we make sustain us within the society we live."

I really enjoy the practice of coming up with a coherent message after only a brief exchange of ideas. Just before moving on to the main hall to deliver our summary, I've noticed in my peers' papers words and phrases pretty similar to mine. "The scale in which we operate determines the outreach of our actions. But when we consider the concept of accountability my question to myself is where am I accountable? Our demands from big corporations start in each of us as individual members of society. As soon as my own goal is beyond the scope of my resources, my reliance on others tilts the priorities of my decisions."

This is why my first doodle was the question "WHAT IS OUR STORY?"

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I'm always impressed by the undertakings the Design Nerds engage in. My effort of participating keeps me trying to join. Being a design nerd myself, traps me in the reality of looking at everything from more than one direction and distance. So the questions naturally arise. When you start asking questions, the process of education is natural. My interaction with others requires accountability which will always tie me to the scale at which I can operate. The question mark is definitely my exclamation mark; and the other way around.

Smellicious: What is the control that you’re willing to let go of?

Utopia with the Design Nerds

Gathering around the theme of utopia, our group is meandering between seemingly nonsensical expressions of imaginary realities of the future. We have decided to take 2064 - fifty years from now - as our destination in time. For a few moments I was really about to just pack everything and leave. However, sticking with the guidelines of the Design Nerds, I made an effort to accommodate the process. It turned out to be an intriguing event with valuable points for thought. 

A Utopian story proposes a vision that allows a moment of reflection. Among other ideas, we've come up with such: no one is required to work for a living; free transportation is available for all; animal-and-vegetation rights have been integrated into the social structures in human society. As our discussion had progressed our story has become a little more coherent just before we had to stand in front of the crowd.

Here is a short recap of our story as I remember it. I might have introduced some of my own interpretations in an effort to make sense of some issues. However, the credit goes to all who participated in the evening at the Hive. Over there the Design Nerds are responsible for inspiring valuable discussions that all aim at positive change to our life on earth.

Smellicious

The year is 2064. Global ecosystems have fallen out of balance in the late twenty teens. This collapse was followed by a wholesome voiding of economic structures. Without much notice, a quick change in humans’ sense of smell (olfaction) ensued. After millennia of loosing our olfactory communication skills, human society suddenly regained its connection to animals and plants. With new social realizations, vegetation and animal rights became central in policy making and enforcement through the judiciary system.

With a newly found use for odours of all kinds, animals and plants are now consulted in issues that until not long ago have been the sole manifestation of human interests and needs. Extraction of resources is directed by insights that are generated through quick smelling exchanges between humans, animals and machines. Fabrication of any new product, be it electronic devices or massive infrastructure developments is monitored through an elaborate network of sensors, plant material, animals and humans. Anything manufactured in the world maintains a capacity to retract so that it can be re-used or returned to nature without harm to its environment.

Atrocities of the past such as formal possession of pets, experiments conducted on animals, and much more, have come to an absolute end. The plant and animal world has been relieved from an immense source of hardship. These systemic human-centric abuses have been recognized as crimes against nature. However, no trace of stench related to memories of past oppressions could be detected coming out of non-human organisms' glands.

Paradise Lost

In a pretty short exchange among mostly unfamiliar people, some ideas shared around the table find a thread to weave a story. The process has been a hit and miss affair in my experience with the Design Nerds. When I had first seen the announcement for the Utopia evening I was intrigued. Although the experience challenged my patience, it was a worthwhile challenge. One member of another group has provided an interesting insight: for her, utopia is probably a reality that we've lost. The Utopian story can be seen as an effort to reclaim what could be right about our world. 

The gathering this week provided me with an opportunity to explore my own process of engagement. I keep coming back to a question that relates to my expectations from society and from myself. What is the control that you’re willing to let go of? If nothing else, I will check that out in the next session of the Design Nerds on January 25th, less than a week from now.